DAD.

So I know that I am a little late writing this and to be honest I didn't know if I ever would end up completing this post. I have thought a lot about what I wanted to write to remember the feelings that I have had every year on July 17th. 

There is so much that I want to remember, and there is also so much that I want people to know about the man I once called my Dad. July 17th may just be a regular beautiful summer day, but for me it brings back haunting memories of a summer night 13 years ago. I won't go into too much detail, but one moment I remember watching Susie Q on Disney Channel and the next I know I am listening to my mom's horrifying scream. In between this time I go into my room and I kneel down saying an earnest prayer to my Heavenly Father. I don't know how, but I knew that my Dad was never going to wake up again. So I just prayed that my family would make it through this, that we would all be okay, and please please watch over us. Unfortunately I was right. He never woke up.

 The rest of the night will be burned into my memory forever. The days and weeks to follow however are one big Blur. I think about this day often. There is so much I wish I would have done differently. Although, I know thinking like that can drive one CRAZY. I'll keep it real simple and just say I wish I could have one more Dad hug. I would even let him give me a smooch on the cheek.

I wonder what he would think of me today. I wonder what he would say about the daughter I have become. Would he be proud of me? How would he feel about the boys I have dated?

To my DAD i say this...

Today we got together and ate your favorite foods,and talked about your favorite things. We each said something about you so those that have joined our family get to know you a little better.  We miss you so much its not comprehendable. I keep quiet when it comes to talking about you because even though it is 13 yrs later I still can't believe your not here. I keep you in mind when it comes to making decisions because I want to make you proud. This road hasn't been easy without you, but we are all making it everyday. Don't be mad about the whole U thing. I promise I will never switch over to the other side :) I can't wait to catch up someday. Until then... I love ya.

Chels.