Shoot.

Shoot. Where the heck have I been? 

Now-a-days blogs are all cutesie but here I am all hey. Don't care. Moving right along. 

My ears are for real ringing. I am bored out of my freaking mind. I decided to catch up on a few of my favorite blogs, an activity I used to do daily. Then I remembered how much I used to want to stay up to date on my life and the life of my kid. Looking back on the last two years I feel like a total failure. I have barely wrote down a thing. I have a few pictures to remember this and that but nothing like a specific really good day. Lately, I don't feel like the person I used to be. Sure, being a Mom changed me a little but there is something else and I can't quite put my finger on it. I do miss having really good friends who know me. I have made friends here but not the ones who instantly know if your having a bad day and definitely no one who will call me for a Diet Coke run. Stupid huh? I think I may be putting value on stupid things. Like things that don't really matter anymore. The thing is they matter to me dumb or not. Thats my rant for today. I need to remember how I feel and these things that are going on. Now on to the good stuff...

Miles Drewbie. Oh my gosh I love him. He is 2 and totally working that number like he knows the persona it holds. He really is an awesome kid. I have always known he has a wise old soul but golly gee he really is wise. Smart? Maybe. I'm talking like Wise. Sometimes I think he knows all there is to know about this life. He just came here to be raised and then will go on to be... Who knows what because I don't even have words to describe this one. Andrew and I are obsessed with every little thing he does. Back in December he crawled out of his crib and came into our room. Two things; One I obviously didn't know he knew how to crawl out of his crib. Two, I didn't know he knew how to open doors? Mind Blown. Then he's just standing there in the middle of the night just staring at me. Freaky. Anyway, so instantly you know you need to figure out another sleeping situation. I just didn't know what that was... Still don't. We tried buying a mattress and putting it on the floor but no way jose. He knows our bed is way better. So, I struggled with this for a long time. I knew everyone in the know-it-all mommy world would tell me I need to lock him in or keep walking him back to his room etc.. Well, don't have it in me to lock him in his room and I'm to tired to keep walking him back. I have finally come to a point where I ignored all the voices telling me I am doing a bad job and tried to listen to my own. He sleeps with us. You know what? I like love it. I have been thinking alot about what if I were to lose him or what if something devastating happened tomorrow? I would have zero regrets. I get to spend a lot of 21 out of the 24 hours with him (I don't nap with him.) I get to hold him, kiss him, love him whenever I want. This doesn't work for everyone and soon he will get our bed as his own but for now I will cherish all the time I get to spend with my little love. So, I kinda hope nobody reads all of this. I am happy I wrote this down and I hope to be better at writing all of this life down because we all know there aint no journal I'm writing. Heres to hoping! Cheers.