2 years ago.

two years. flies by.

Not exactly. If you would have asked me that last year, or a year and a half ago. I would have never said that it has flown by.

I have learned enough to fill up an index about myself. It's true. It has been quite the journey that I never would have taken had I not had my heart broken into a thousand tiny pieces. to be honest were still working on the put back together part. It works out because I feel like this second remodel of my heart has made it stronger than ever before. It now knows when to put up guard, the taking down part still needs some work. It's smarter.

softer.

and more selective.

We don't take any lad making his way down the conveyor belt. In fact we haven't taken any at all. Everything takes time. Everything.

2 years ago it was a beautiful day. It was the perfect amount of sunny and cloudy. The air was crisp, but not like it is today.

This day usually is put down on record for the best day of people's lives.

Yeah. That good. 

EXCEPT.

It wasn't.

It wasn't the best day. It wasn't the worst day I have ever had either. It just happened to be any other day.

two years ago on this very day I would have married someone. 

It was a blessing in disguise, because the young lady I was, was not ready. Not ready at all. 

I am thankful for these 2 years. So very very thankful. 

The battle with the heart is not easily won, I tell you what.

Taken for Granted.

There are 3 things in my life right now that I will never take for granted again.

1. Dishwasher
2. A Garbage Can as opposed to a dumpster across the parking lot
3. Microwave

Things would run a little bit smoother around here if I were to have these luxuries of life.

I miss the dishwasher too much. In spite of not having a dishwasher, I don't wash my dishes. I don't even have a disposal so I have to reach down and grab the remnants that were left from scrubbing and manually walk them over to the garbage can that won't get taken out again until maybe April because it is so cold outside. I remember the days when there was a trash bin that I could throw all my DC's into when I got out of the car, or I could take the garbage from the house out to the trash in 5 very easy steps. Those days are gone. I took every single time I took the garbage out for granted. Last, but certainly not least the Microwave. I know I have the option of going out and purchasing one, but I haven't brought myself to that decision yet. The oven does the job when its hired too but its just not the same. I always forget about this too. I buy oatmeal, and lean cuisines, and popcorn and realize the second I walk in the door that those things have no chance in my household. It's a shame. Truly. When I grow up and have these things in my life again, I will be sure to live everyday grateful that there is a Trash can outside my door, a Dishwasher ready to clean even the toughest grime, and a Microwave ready to heat anything at the touch of a hand. Until then I will continue to stare at these dishes in my sink, and wonder how ever will I get them clean?



Head to your Heart.

Lately, I want to throw my hands up in the air and run around like a crazy person. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm slowly losing touch with my purpose. I don't exactly know what my purpose is right now but the drive I once had at the beginning of the semester is disappearing. I'm letting confusion take over. The path I have chosen has a big glob of fog over it. There are decisions to be made, and I feel like I'm not in the right mind to make them. I realize things happen, plans change but I can't decide if I should make a U turn and turn left where I had taken a right before. This could change my plan drastically or I could see what's down the road and realize the right turn was in fact the right choice. Life is no walk in the park people. I don't want to mess up the progress I have made, because i may not get it back. It's a risk, a rather big one. My heart and head are telling me two different things. The trick is knowing which one to listen too and when. Time is what I do have at the moment. I have time to decide, time to think, and time to evaluate my options. Nothing is worse then rushing big decisions. Someone once told me to write down what's important to me? What do I want, and what have I learned? So bring I'm the lists. Things are about to get crazy up in here!
Onnnn a brighter note, I did the weather this week on Newsbreak and it may be pure comedy. I'm thinking it will be included on a upcoming post. It's just that good. Get ready folks.
Glad we had this Chat.....